Travelling with all its blessing, also comes with perils of conflicts. Before we hit the road, or board the plane, we all live with utopian expectations that this holiday is going to be ecstatic, or I have made the best ever plan of my life, or we are going to have candle lit dinner every other night, and so on. But this is a short lived happiness. Travelling might be an escape to stress, but it comes with its own type of pressures. You have deal with expenses that can fluctuate, emergency times, change of plans, and probably a kid to look after who is creating menace in new surroundings. This all leads to petty little fights, sometimes grave too, but here is how to avoid them.
Wear the hat only if it fits. What I mean is, distribute the work responsibilities based on strengths of your better half. If she is good with shopping haggling, let her do it. She will enjoy, and never complain even if she fails in it. If he is a good photographer, let him have this angle, or that.
Money Divides. Truly it does and ensure that it is done. Do some finance and create funds allocated personally and jointly. For the essentials like hotels, cabs, airlines, do an advance booking with consensus. Trust me, inflated expenses can bloat up your partners cheeks with anger.
Turn you ‘It’s always you’ into ‘We will deal with this’. Relationships are all about mutual understanding, and you have to be at heights of empathy. Never start the blame game, as it always turn ugly with more of historic references. Accept that something, somehow went wrong.
Be little more inclusive. You might have lived your life on your own and own terms, but this is a couple trip, so you have to consider the feelings and thoughts of your partner too. You might want to drink, but your partner is hungry. Now someone has to compromise without an argument.
Travelling upsets your routine all upside down. No gym or no cranberry juice, or jet lag, or bad hotel beds, or no newspaper, or no little yoga on balcony, etc. etc. This can trigger your anger very easily, and your partner becomes immediate victim. But before it happens, think whom you are angry with, and with whom you are going to be mad at.
Travelling to new place can change your flow of emotions, which doesn’t means that your partner is no more interested in you. For the moment he could be obsessed about next morning scuba diving session, or clicking pics of that historic palace. So, no assumptions and no pouncing..
Remember from where it all started. When in mid fights, or on verge of start to it, remember how hard you managed for this getaway, or how much efforts you put on the plans, or how long you have waited for time to be together all alone. This will motivate you, and will probably work.
Life is so dull without surprises. If your holiday is 10 days, plan least 3 surprises for your other half. This will flush out all differences and fill in lots of love, happiness and what not. This is the best tip of keep going on good terms. It always not have to be a gift, it could also be a decision, or future plan.
Keep it wishful. We all are little insecure imperfect creations of god, with thousands of wishes tossing in our hearts. Make every other day a wish day for your partner. Starting with what would you like to eat today, or what would like to do tonight, etc. etc. This will keep fights away.
Kill the boredom. If you are married and this is not your first holiday, then probably you both are in your thirties. At the age, boredom comes easy, and fights even easier that too to kill that boredom. So keep it grounded, and indulge in activities your partner likes most every once in while.
Make a pact on dealing with the unexpected. It could be driver going missing while you are on a beach 40 Km away from city, or hotel room catching little fire, or you getting mugged at knifepoint. These will surely start arguments, but if you are prepared, least it will not get ugly.
No Flashbacks. Our lives will always remain imperfect with some rough patches in it, no matter how hard we have given it a good try. The last thing you should do on holiday is remembering those rough patches at times when you don’t like something about your partner. Never do that.
If you are with her while she is getting a manicure done, then a girls joke might raise his brows, or if you are with him while he has met a new local friend and having beer, a little checking of a woman across can hurt you. So give your partner a little space, little alone time, and enjoy.
We aren’t encyclopaedias or IBM super computers, we can be wrong like google showing all that vague stuff. So accept that, and its okay to laugh about it rather than making your other half look like a fool. The tolerance between couples should be high especially when out of home.
Fight for your partner, and not with.
